The name is Azryl. Simply called Rhel by most and Azzy by others; whichever you prefer. Almost legal, but not yet. Singapore Polytechnic, Electrical and Electronic Engineering. Under the employment of Starbucks One Fullerton. Can be caught daydreaming most of the time. My heart is being taken care of, vice versa. Fags, coffee and Thai Grilled Prawns are . Superbly irritetek when in the mood! BLUEK.

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 I can't figure out why I'm extra sensitive today. Every negative comment directed towards me, I will feel easily hurt. I don't know. Everyone just seems extra bitchy today I noticed. Headed to school all moody. Entah eh.

 Attaching at Starbucks Liat Towers tomorrow. Deep shit. 6-11pm. MAMPOS. 

Today work sucks. Shortage by one partner because that partner had to cover someone else's attachment. I had to come in at 1145 because Kakak was dying. Working on Sundays is so unpredictable. Sometimes it's busy, sometimes it's as quiet as hell. Just now, there was a slam from 1000hrs-1500hrs. Only got my break at 1700hrs, an hour before I clock out. Because it was THAT busy.

And partners and managers today have every right to be pissed off. 

 WHOOOOO! I can't believe I completed my wishlist for this month! Sacrificed the bermuda for a pair of contacts. Oh well. Jeans make me look more 'abang' anyway. 

- River Island cardigan 
- River Island checked shirt
- Esprit khaki checked pants
- Topman white extra deep V-cut basic tee
- Topman black extra deep V-cut basic tee
- Freshkon Winsome Brown contact lenses
- Freshkon Misty Grey contact lenses

Round up total: $360

Yikes! I know. But at least I'm one satisfied customer! 

Whooohooo. Seems like I get an extreme makeover for myself every month. Oh well, this means more pictures to Rhel (Rvmpd Edt) album on Facebook. :D

I'm addicted to Buble's 'Cry Me A River'. Been set to repeat on my YP-P3. Best part, the song which is sung by the original singer is being played over Starbucks speakers. :D

xoxo

Rhel
 

Because people take me for granted knowing I'll always be around and return only when they need me or want me. 

And stop pretending to be 'The Mysterious Guy'. Your way of playing of 'hard-to-get' game is having a counter reaction for it's way over subtle. It's turning me off. And hell, you flicked the wrong switch in me yesterday. Cheebye.

Anywayyyyys. Bought a blue checkered shirt, a grey cardigan and a cuff from River Island. Bought 2 pairs of monthly degree contacts as well- Winsome Brown and Misty Grey. Soo...Rhel is a happy boy. And I love Huda and Fitri! Muacksz.

xoxo

Rhel

Here I am - at Starbucks Jurong Point - writing on my little weblog. What am I doing here? Good question. Being a no lifer, I decided to go all the way to Jurong Point, window shop a little and finally chilled at my frequented Cafe, Starbucks. Bought Roasted Turkey & Cranberry (the panini bread is awesomely soft, I tell you) and an Iced triple Grande Toffee Nut Latte. YUMMMM.

Right now I'm just waiting for time to pass before the clock strikes 4, in which I will head off from Boon Lay and to Yio Chu Kang to meet my dearies, L and F. Pick them up from school and off to Vivo we go. Planning to go shopping and watch a movie. Thoug I don't really have any idea what movie to treat them to. Gaaah.

You know, sometimes I just don't get why some people can be so abysmally ignorant of their surroundings. FOR GOODNESS SAKE. If you want to discuss something or check your goods to see if they're correct, do what is appropriate can? Which is, if you have a brain (seemingly, yours is pea-sized), you'd stand somewhere at the side and not in the middle of the way, where there are hordes of people trying to walk. Urgh.

Oh well, whatever. I'm just happy. I'm going to shop later. Whee~

xoxo

Rhel

xoxo,
Rhel

 Sucks that I look forward to upcoming plans and it ends up being thwarted. Karaoke, Huda doesn't seem enthused about it. So I don't think I'll go. I'll just pick some fucking person to go out with instead on that day. I'm not too bothered about the karaoke. I'm just bothered by the upcoming pit planned for the store. Huda organised it, Shadiq and me have to cook, only to find out the turn out will be bad. FUCK SIA. Don't like us to be in-charge? Fucking take over ah. We were in charge the last time. It would be fair enough if someone else took over. Somehow I can guess the probable reasons why some people "can't" make it. Eh fuck off eh. Cheebye. ARGGGGH. Macam malas sak nak gi tu pit.

Anyway. Yesterday went to watch Julia and Julie with Huda at Cathay. After movie saw Mamat. Shadiq met us. Huda, Shadiq and me go eat at Dallas Chicken. Great service, great food. Amin, Mamat and one of their friends joined us. Joked around, bitched, gossiped. Shadiq and me to 65 home. Terus dah takder mood sak nak tulis about yesterday.

Bye.

fuck xoxo, not in the mood to give it,

Rhel.

 As the title suggests, I don't need to have another special person in my life to help me move on. I guess I'm independent enough to go on with life and let every chapter unfold by itself by doing my regular routine. Should I need anyone to fall back on, I have my baby Huda, Fitri, Shadiq, Yana, Sany and some few others to fall back on. They each possess different ways in meeting my needs. 

It's been a tough time going through all these alone for the past 3 months. Even though my friends are there, they are not with me all the time. The depression and misery kicks in when I'm at home or at school. Each time it does, I try to filter out these negative thoughts and reverse them positively. One of the ways, like how you told me to- hold on to the future to help me move on. Yes, it does drive me forward. I await for that very day where two halves become one. I do put hope on it but not too much because I guess, I've learnt my lesson well from the hard falls I've experience. 

To forget about you? That is a definite never. Our memories together has become a permanent archive in my heart which I refer to time and again when I miss you and wish to give a satisfied smile. I'm satisfied for I know it was a good relationship, one that gave me experience, helping me to mature into what I am now. I'm satisfied for I know that I made you content. I'm satisfied to know that you still love me and miss me. And that's all I ever needed to know- that you still do love me. And I do too. :)

I've gathered up my unfavourable thoughts and set them aside. The only thought that resides in my mind now is that, you have been the greatest love of all and should anyone else come into my life, you can be assured that you are still the one I love most. Don't start telling me that shouldn't be the way. I want it to be that way. So there's no stopping me. 

Right now, I can just concentrate on my studies. Since you want me to be the scholar. Your scholar. Then I will. In fact, now, I look forward to each brand new day of school despite the fact that I failed my papers. If I have to retain, then I will. Just so I'll end up with a dazzling GPA. Because if you have never experience failures in life, then you've never lived life to the fullest. Even a baby fails when he is about to start walking. But what does he do? He gets back up and try again. 

Moving aside from that...NEXT WEEK I'M ONLY WORKING ON SUNDAY. Whee~. My plans? 

30th Oct - Pay Day! Bring my girls, L and F out for a treat. ;)
31st Oct - Karaoke with Eve and the rest of the gang at Cash Studio! 

I'm soo looking forward to Wednesdays now. The General Elective Module (GEM) I took, Design Appreciation, turns out to be enjoyable! Woohoo!

Alright now, I'm off to go Facebooking. Before that I'm ending off with a poem for you:

There's this lingering feeling,
deep down in my heart; 
telling me we'll never forever be apart.

xoxo,

Rhel.

Yesterday, before I went to sleep, I reflected on my character of late. And I came to realise how much more bitchy I've become. as in the mean type of bitchy not the usual, sarcastic bitch I was. So therefore, I would like to apologise to whoever I have directed my harsh comments to or made fun of. I really am, sincerely sorry.

In the lecture room now, waiting for lecture to commence. Just found out Raspal is gone for Teamwork and Communication Skills! YESSSAAAAAAH!

Okeh. Ciaoszszsz!

 With this month's pay, I'll be hoping to get these:

#1 Nice looking shirt(s)

#2 Coats/cardigans/jackets

#3 Jeans AND bermudas/shorts

#4 Tees!

 HAHAHAHA. Oh my freaking god. Unbeknownst to you, you have fallen into the venus fly trap. I'm lucky I've been forewarned by Mr. 0806. ;)

Shit. I can't help but laugh maniacally. As my niece always goes, 'WooHOO!'. 

 Just now closing was SUPER chaotic. What happened? Well here goes. A girl, a friend of Sani's friends lost her Samsung Omnia at the outdoor seating area. So, she came to ask Sani whether any of us has found her phone. None of us did and upon getting this answer, she suspected one of us took the phone but refused to own up. she then proceeded to call the police for investigations. The police came when we were having a slam and the situation was hectic. I just came back from my break and there were problems at the bar area as customers were getting the wrong drinks because Fu Xin failed to check their receipts. Sani call me out of floor and told me to witness together with him while the policemen check everyone's bags and belongings. I panicked because I remember I had a packet of finished stash in my bag. So, immediately, I chucked it to once side. Phew. Anyway, after searching every bag, they found no trace of the phone and investigation was over. It irritated me badly that this has to happen during a busy night. And I do wonder why do this bad things occur when Sani and me are working. The last time was when a lady lost her her purse and blamed us for taking it. Sani told me to check the trash and inside the outdoor dustbin was her purse. Fucking moronic bimbos sak. Urgh.

And today closing machiam fudgecake. Up to 12.25am, there was still a mini slam. Thanks Torrance for wishing so much for a slam. HAHAS.

Lastly, I'm tired. Just tired of guys who are either (a) too clingy or (b) mean, insensitive assholes or (c) seemed perfect but end up being bastard motherfucks and I wonder why am I so nice to people in category (c) when I know these are the much more dangerous ones. Can't I find a perfect, decent someone like my previous? Actually I almost did...but was rejected. HAHAS.

Sometimes, I just wish I didn't do all the mistakes I did so that you were still mine. And I only remind myself with stuff like 'things happen for a reason', 'good things come to people who wait' and 'from day one, I've always wanted the best for the both of us'. These are the things that are said by you and you should know who you are. 

Even though I've been trying to keep my options open, I do still hold on to the future. 

"When someone wounds our heart, we never recover till we forgive. Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it does enlarge the future". 

And that's why, I forgave you a long time ago.
 

 Yesterday's closing with Amin was one of the kental-est and funniest closing ever. Two blur, sleepy cocks on one floor...what do you expect. LOL. So apparently, someone ordered Hazelnut Hot Chocolate. Amin looked he was like in a state of a daze so while trying to help me out, he pulled espresso shots...FOR HOT CHOCOLATE. HAHAHAHAS. Then my story...this malay teenager ordered two Grande-sized Chocolate Cream Chip frappucino. I made the drink and only put one scoop of ice inside. Another one of my kental moments was when someone ordered Mango Passionfruit. Naturally, I'd ask, 'Medium or large for you?'. And naturally, I'd also ask whether they want whip cream, which was not needed for this drink. By default, MFJs don't have whipped creams. LOL.

Closing at 7 later today with Syaf! WhooooOOOooo. Heehee. 

...you surround me with your endless love.

 I still haven't applied for my General Elective Module. Because I die-die want to get Wednesday slot for Love Relations for Life - A Journey of Romance, Love and Sexuality. RAWR. Tomorrow must go in before 0900hrs to register. :D

And oh no...I just realised. He's lembut to the core. Shite. And clingy. What do I DOOOOO? HAHAHS.

 Everyday, I've been waking up, feeling so fucked up. And without knowing why. That very down feeling. I went to work yesterday feeling all 'blah' until Huda cheered me up with her hyperactiveness. (: And I got all moody again nearing closing because some Philippino customers just had to ruin my mood. The first batch of mood ruiners was when they ordered drinks altogether AT ONCE and then after everything THEN they requested to pay separately. MORONIC ASSHOLES. Then after that during closing, I told the customers outside we are closing and we need to lock the chairs. A few moved. But 2 groups were defiant. I had to give them like another 20 WHOLE FUHKEHN MINUTES before I went up to them to tell them once again we are closing. SATU KALI CAKAP TAK DENGAR. DUA KALI CAKAP BARU TEMBUS TELINGA MASUK OTAK. JERBOOOOO.

I hope no one else pisses the shit the out of me today. 

Oh by the way, I realised not everyone can cheer me up fully. Only selected few.

 I'm tired of 'rainbow people' who know they are hot, knows they can get anyone they want and goes around pressing on other's 'doorbells' only to disappear  without a trace. They have a term for these people and I think...it's called 'heartbreaker'. Wait, it IS the word. And the heartbreaking process is not even subtle; nowhere near trying to be nice. Their heartbreaking is a pouncing and harsh process. They make you fall hard. Nothing to cushion your fall even. Urgh. Gaytches. 

I'm just so confused with the things happening around me right now. No relation to the above, but some other things.